Have I done something wrong?


Have I done something wrong?

Isn't this an interesting question. But it is a question that you should be asking in your own head. You should be the only judge of your behaviour. Only you know if you have acted mean or reactive. You know inside of yourself if you have said something to someone you wish you had not have said.

When you ask someone the question, have i done something wrong,you are giving your power away. Firstly you are asking for their approval and secondly you are at the mercy of their judgement. If you ask someone that question you are then allowing that person to judge you and to openly express their perceptions about how you should behave.

This is a question you should never have to ask. Even in the workplace. If you do something wrong, your boss will tell you. If you offend your partner they will tell you. Don't assume,don't jump the gun, do not give your power away.

And if someone does come to you and say you have done something wrong, it's ok to discuss the issues and hear their perceptions without taking on their judgement. You can then make a decision whether to change your behaviour or not.

If you find yourself wanting to ask someone this question, stop and look inside yourself. Ask yourself these questions...Am i overreacting? Am I seeking attention from this person? Am I feeling insecure?

Most often the need to ask this question comes from a place of needing approval. Quite often the person you feel is angry with you is not even aware of your perceptions. That person may have had a bad day, they may be stuck in their head or just busy.

What other people think of you is none of your business. Wasting energy running around asking people Have i done something wrong is just another form of wanting to please people and it is giving away your power.

Practice loving without attachment. Practice being ok with a situation when someone does not call you or does not give you what you need. It is time we all stepped up and gave to ourselves what we truly need and let go of attachment.

It's funny, the clients I have worked on that were chronic pleasers, no longer feel the need to ask this question. Most report they can judge for themselves if they have acted out of sorts and trust themselves enough now to trust their own judgment rather than having to ask others. This is such a huge leap in growth and I am so happy for them.

I can honestly say I was a chronic pleaser. Having been a victim and and in situations that were not kind to me, I did it to feel safe. So I understand the need to feed our own ego with others approval. It takes time to change a behaviour. So be kind to yourself. Practice valuing yourself. And when you find yourself looking for approval, be kind to yourself, because that is a sure sign that you need your own love.


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